There are many things I love about my significant other. But most of all, it’s his commitment. Not just to me or our relationship, but to everything. When he says he’s going to do something, he does it. And not someday or next week or tomorrow. Right. Now. He’s smart and decisive and does only the appropriate research before diving in. I learned this pretty quickly on in our relationship when he said he was going to buy a new car. In less than a month, he sold his car and had a new one. If it were up to me, I would have taken years of test drives, watched…

This is my sixth go at the beginning of my memoir. It’s become like changing clothes multiple times before work and in this case, I have no mirror. I’m not looking for “Bravos!”, just for constructive criticism. Yes, the truth can hurt but it would hurt way worse after printing 1000 copies. Thank you! CHAPTER 1 “I don’t want you to go”, I softly tell him. This kind of talk is premature. Maybe. We’ve gone on exactly one date. Officially one first date prompted by my need to fulfill a year-long dating experiment where I have challenged myself to meet 50 prospects. I affectionately call it “Project 50”. A year…

Labor Day Weekend is approaching and I will be joining a Labor Day tradition as a +1. In lieu of a winter gathering for Christmas, my boyfriend’s family takes advantage of the long Labor Day weekend for their annual holiday celebration. It’s Labor Day. It’s Christmas. It’s… Labordaymas. And to entertain themselves, they pack the weekend full of activities and more specifically competition where points can be gained and victors can be made. For me this weekend isn’t just two holidays, it’s two movies– Meet the Parents and Hunger Games. The thought of being trapped in a large group of people I don’t know is the stuff of nightmares. Even…

I always thought I’d be a mom. There was never any doubt. Though if experience was necessary for the job, I was screwed. I’m the youngest with two older sisters. Essentially I grew up with three moms. And I was mom to no one. Not to younger cousins, though I did some babysitting. Not to neighbors, friend’s siblings or even my sisters’ eventual kids. I am not a mom type, I guess. My arms don’t instantly conform to a cradle position when infants are present. I see children and have no idea how old they are. And even when I find out, I don’t remember what that means for their…

“Relationships are hard” they say. “I’m determined to do it right this time” I say. A few years ago I was in a relationship that absolutely depleted me. I could say it was because he took and took. But more importantly, I gave and gave. “I can buy you groceries.” “I can come to YOUR house.” “I can wait for you to be free because I know how hard it is for you to plan.” I thought if I gave extraordinarily, I could force it to succeed. But that’s crazy. And it ended. And I swore I would never give so much again. Then I dated a man who gave…

It started with a receipt. Then a wristband. A cork. A note. A postcard promoting a play we did not attend but that we got on a night I told a story at a fundraiser. Remnants from nearly every plan we had together began collecting in a box. I had made a similar box with one of my closest friends. She and I packed our memories into a wicker basket- cards and ticket stubs and photos. We would revisit it each year and re-live all these fun times. But he has no knowledge of this box. It is a renegade box. And it defies the normal behavior I try so…

I’m in the best shape of my life, or maybe just the strongest I’ve ever been. I’m seven months into Crossfit and it’s not only changed my body and schedule, but also my dating preferences. All suitors must come with a workout regimen and interest in lifting more, pushing further, moving faster or a combination of all three. My new Okcupid interest du jour is only 27 years old. Even worse, he could pass for a teen. However, he has an adult sounding career as a business owner, an entrepreneur. A public speaker. A personal trainer. He’s got big goals. He’s also a body builder. I do what most women…

My list is in a vault. And when I say “vault”, I mean it’s in an unassuming post-it sized notebook inside a magnetic container on the side of my refrigerator. I recently thought about moving it somewhere or tearing it out of the notebook so that I can use this notebook for other things like groceries or errands. But something about it feels magical. So it needs to stay. Exactly. Right. There. The list is THE LIST- the comprehensive must-have qualities for my partner. It seems simple but it’s the product of decades of crushes, relationships, successes and failures. When I hear singles talking about how they can’t find anyone…

Light banter at work today brings up a word I’ve never heard before,  “neg.” A female coworker explains, “It’s when a guy says something kind of mean to a girl, but really subtle.” I’m still puzzled. A male coworker chimes in, “Oh yeah, that worked all the time for me in college. I would ask girls, “Do men actually find you attractive?” I gasp. The female coworker supplements with, “Yeah, or he might say something like, ‘Oh, my mom has that same sweater'”. I get it now. But just to confirm, I consult the urban dictionary to find the following: Neg A light insult wrapped in the package of a…