Notice

I gave notice at work last Monday. It sounds so formal. Giving. Notice. I am supplying the company with a formal declaration that I will no longer be an employee there. But in an exchange for letting them know early (I have no job in the works yet), I asked for time–4-6 months to be exact. It made sense for the team, as one its members would be out for maternity leave in March and I offered to help cover. However, this sustained live with a dead man walking has made people uncomfortable, even in our remote work situation. The management team began planning my quick exit.

At first I was hurt. Since I am planning to change careers, don’t have a job and still need to finish some classwork before I can apply for jobs, there is a very good chance I will be unemployed for a chunk of time. I have budgeted for this and I’ll be ok for a while. I have also begun to create a safety net of possible gig jobs and short term work that would create income to offset my mortgage and health insurance.

My cushiony 4-6 months transition will now be closer to 2 months. My first reaction when facing this was “Wait, I’m not ready!”, followed by “WHY did I decide to do this?” It has culminated with “I guess it’s best to just rip off the band aid.” I’m not traditionally a fatalist but I do think that when you know, you know. And when you’ve made up your mind, you need to say the thing or do the thing or in this case, leave the thing.

In 2011, I was in a similar predicament. I left a job, just like this one. And it was only 2 months of transition into 6 months without work. And it was the best thing I could have done. Even better, it showed me that you can end something before you have a new beginning.

We are still in a pandemic. The numbers continue to rise. I hear little voices whisper that getting a new job will be harder than ever. But even without a pandemic, there is always a reason to believe you will not succeed. The road will be hard. It may be a dead end.

In the past when I was up against a big obstacle, a friend asked me, “Can you look back and name a time that you failed?” When I really thought about it, I found I could not. I have had setbacks. I have had changes in direction. I have had disappointments. But I haven’t had failures. And I’ve got to believe the same will be true this time.